This article explains the differences between normal and complicated grief following the death of a loved one, the usual symptoms or characteristics of each, and how to deal with complicated grief. Grief is the powerful, multifaceted and often uncontrollable response that human beings experience following a personally painful or traumatic event.
While typically associated with the death of a loved one, a stillbirth or a miscarriage, many other events can also trigger grief to varying degrees, such as:.
That said, even though everyone experiences grief, there is a difference between normal, uncomplicated, or simple grief and abnormal, complicated, or exaggerated grief.
Grief is the perfectly natural, necessary, and normal way in which people respond to a personally painful or traumatic event. Everyone grieves a loss due to death in their unique way, and there is no timetable for grief. You won't entirely forget your loved one as if they never existed, but in time, you will learn how to cope with their absence and the scar on your heart and soul.
Some people, however, might experience complicated grief in which the usual responses to the death of a loved one do not fade over time and can impair or prevent them from leading their normal lives. Complicated grief might be referred to by other terms, such as:. As mentioned earlier, everyone's grief response is unique and there is no specific amount of time that defines when normal grief becomes complicated grief. You should also consider joining a bereavement support group in your area, particularly if one exists for people who have experienced a similar type of loss a spouse, partner, child, etc.
Grief typically causes feelings of isolation but discussing your situation with others mourning a death might help you gain a different perspective on your specific response. Delayed grief involves the postponement of a normal grief response until a later time, whether intentional or unconsciously. In other instances, someone might not begin grieving right after a death occurs because he or she already has too much stress, needs more time to process the reality of the loss, can't grieve until encountering a "grief trigger," etc.
Sudden or traumatic grief can lead to exaggerated reactions and even post-traumatic stress disorder. Again, it is important to emphasize that anyone experiencing delayed, disenfranchised, or traumatic grief will not necessarily also deal with complicated grief. In many cases, grievers will still process their grief response normally despite these circumstances and without following the particular "stages" of grief. But if in doubt, then you should consider seeking help from a mental health professional.
Sign up for our Health Tip of the Day newsletter, and receive daily tips that will help you live your healthiest life. Shear MK. Show references Conditions for further study: Persistent complex bereavement disorder. Arlington, Va. Accessed May 4, Shear MK, et al. Complicated grief in adults: Epidemiology, clinical features, assessment, and diagnosis.
Complicated grief in adults: Treatment. National Cancer Institute. Seeking help and support for grief and loss. American Cancer Society. Shear MK. Complicated grief. New England Journal of Medicine.
Grief and bereavement. Doering BK, et al. Treatment for complicated grief: State of the art science and ways forward. Current Opinion in Psychiatry. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Jordan AH, et al. Prolonged grief disorder: Diagnostic, assessment, and treatment considerations.
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